When men feel like they are being attacked about something they immediately get defensive and stop hearing what you are really trying to say to them, then, they start verbally attacking you, and your initial message will never have been heard, no matter how legitimate it was.
If you feel like you're about to lose it on him, get your self calm enough to have a civil conversation before you even open your mouth, otherwise when you blow up at him he's not going to hear a word you say. If you have a beef to pick with him, what ever the message you are trying to send, make sure you choose your words carefully before saying it out loud, because men don't ever want to be ragged out, and no woman wants to be tagged as a nag.Men often don't even realize that women are becoming increasingly annoyed at their antics, and often complain that women just expect men to know how they are feeling, while admitting that they really do just need us to spell it out for them. So, tell him how you truly feel and try to say "I" as much as you can in order to prevent him from becoming defensive and shutting down. For example: "I'm feeling lonely and I just want you to spend more time with me." He will hear your message loud and clear and be much more receptive rather than if you had said: "You always go out, and you never stay home with me!"
If it is his frequent road running that is getting to you, but you don't feel like dealing with the confrontation, just make your own plans to do something. Tell him a head of time, and put it on the calendar so that even if he does forget, he'll have nothing to fight against if he happens to want to do something on the same night. He will probably be more than willing to let you get out, and being out with friends will make you less resentful, less stressed, and give you both something different to talk about when you get home.
Many women stay at home with their children while also taking care of the whole household solo, including their partner's laundry, meals, and so-on. Some men may feel resentful that their wives get to stay at home believing that her job must be easier than his. This preconception can cause tension, and if not brought out in the open for discussion can be very stressful on a relationship. Many people don't realize that men can take paternity leave just as women take maternity leave. So, let your husband stay home for a month or two, it will get you out of the house, help he and the baby bond, and let him see just how much work really needs to be done during the day.
If housework is a big reason behind the nagging, and Dad staying at home just isn't an option, then designating certain jobs for each will help relieve this. Even if he only has a few tasks to do, it will ease the woman's load and help her feel more appreciative of him. Having both individuals sit down and come to an agreement together is the best way to go about it. It's tempting to want to give him all the dirty jobs; taking out the trash, cleaning the toilet etc., but by trying to keep it even, it will result in a much more enjoyable environment. Keeping a checklist on the fridge will help show who's not carrying their weight and make any discussions about it much more concrete and reasonable. Don't be afraid to remind him to do something, just be prepared to receive the same treatment in case the tables are turned in the future.
If you're anticipating that reminding him might result in a fight, try teasing him instead of the alternative, men can handle a poke here and there much better than most women can, and you might both end up laughing about it.
If money is the root of all your agonies try sitting down together and working out a game plan. Place a calendar on the fridge and have each of you mark down every dollar spent on a daily basis. It will show you where ever cent is going and help you control any unnecessary spending. A dollar a day for a coffee isn't much in the short-term, but it definitely adds up, and you could simply brew your own.
If one of you is already a drill sergeant about the family funds, try coming up with some ideas that could potentially make some extra income. Even if it's only a hundred dollars a month, it might be just what you need. If you both work and currently take separate vehicles try traveling together if possible, or carpool with a co-worker who lives nearby. Get up an hour earlier and head out to do a paper run before your partner leaves for work. Put any talent or hobby you have into action and start selling your own services or goods, or look into taking on a full or part-time job from home.
Another tension causer between couples lies in the fact that many women tend to hold grudges longer than men. Most have a hard time letting go of something that was said which offended them, and will continue to stew about it for even days after the argument unless they hear an apology. Many women just need some closure and are more than willing to move on and forget the fight after simply hearing "I'm Sorry". But believe it or not, a lot of men have no idea that women are still waiting to hear it and believe the disagreement is long forgotten. So, once again, you might have to have to spell it out for him, because no matter how much we expect them to 'just know', they just don't. Don't expect him to go on and on about why he was wrong, he will feel belittled and you'll likely just end up fighting again, and back on square one.
So many couples yearn for that spark that they felt in the bud of their relationship, when it most often just needs to be rekindled. Women may say things a little more snooty than they were meant to be, don't be afraid to tell him you didn't mean for it to sound that way. Try and keep in mind that as much as we want them to be, they are admittedly not mind readers and genuinely do want to understand us and get along. Try and also remember that he wants to be treated with love and respect just as you do, one can only take so much before throwing in the towel.
Related:
A Case Women Maltreating Men?
Moody Men
How Does Your Relationship Work?
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