"Ok, so don't get me wrong, I love my mother but I HATE how she tries to tell me what to/ not to do when it comes to my kids. I just need to know if everyone else's mothers are trying to do this to them. It really stresses me out. Even thought I know I am doing the right things with my kids, I can't help but get defensive when she starts to tell me my child is hungry, too warm, too cold, and so on and on and on. Anyway, if anyone else here could just reassure me that my mother is not a nut case, and that this is perfectly normal that would be really great."
Caroline
9 comments:
It happens a lot. I have experienced it with my mother-in-law. However, just because it happens often does not mean that it is acceptable. It is important to lay boundaries that you are your childrens parents and do not need unwanted interferance. It makes me made when anyone tries to constantly second guess me as a parent. Grandparents had their turn and this is our turn as parents. My parents give advice but it is not as often and usually requested, however with my mother in law it is different- constant and I have to remind her that I already know what she is telling me or that we choose to parent differently.
I get so annoyed that I just want to tell her it's not up for discussion. But even when she doesnt say anything she just gives me these looks like. Ohhh those poor kids.. AHHHHHHH!!!!
-C
Yeah it drives me insane as well I definally get what your talking about. All you can do is tell her how you feel and try to lay boundaries.
It is very common for this to happen ...I think its the maternal instinct in women. I have had it happen with other female family members as well and the odd friend. But by far my mother in law is the worst...she even went so far as to tell me I should never let my baby sit when shes having a poo in her diaper??!! HELLOOOO what planet are you from?! This of course is from the woman that left her infant son in the car while her and her husband went shopping 33 years ago...lol I guess maybe if you come right out and tell her how much it bothers you she might ease up...??
LOL I know! Get this, my mother thinks me putting my kids to bed at 8pm is too early, AND that I shouldnt let them nap!!!
-C
I have had this same issue for the past three years with my mother and grandmother. I have told them time after time I am the mother of my child and they are not and they need to step back. Now everytime they say something I ask them "Do you think you raised an ignorant idiot?" or something like that. My mom has piped down lately, but it's the grandmother of myself that I doubt will ever stop. Luckily, we don't have much to do with Zakk's paternal side, so I don't get unwanted comments from that grandmother. Hah.
i get the same from my own mother.. it is so frustrating... luckily we live about 2 and a half hours apart or i really would go nuts... i have tried telling her that i know how to be a parent but it doesn't work, at least not with her. she even goes as far as telling me what my little girl is saying.. when i can perfectly hear what she is saying, better than my mom cause at least 90% of the time she is wrong.
fortunately i don't get this from her other grandmother, i do see her more cause i live only about 15 mins from her.. i just find it so funny... she has stepped back to be the grandmother and not the parent.. i love it.
Try living 7 houses away from your mother, bahaha! I'm that lucky.. but I suppose I chose to live there.. it's just a bit too close at times.
Thats just it, they need to be grandmothers, well put.
My mother went as far as to say that we shouldn't have gotten our son circumsized. Hello?!
"One- Not your decision
Two- well- I guess I really don't need to explain it to you do I?"
Maybe thats harsh but thats how she MAKES me feel, I am tired of explaining myself.
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