Just wondering what you think are the positive and negatives on being either a stay at home mom or a working mom are for you and what you have to give up because of your choice to work or stay home.
-Anonymous
8 comments:
Anonymous
said...
I am a SAHM of two.
I can't imagine leaving them all day every day with someone else. I can't even fathom the things I would miss considering all the cute things they do in the run of a day.
While it is trying on your mind, it is worth it in my opinion. The first 5 years are so important to a child that I think they should be nurtured and made the most of with a parent.
I am not trying to slam working moms. BUT if you CAN stay at home with your kids I FOR SURE think it's the right thing to do for everyone involved.
I was a SAHM for 3 years. I loved every minute of it, but money was always tight and we could never do anything we wanted to. Although I love staying home with my kids, I decided that it was time to get out of the house on my own for once. So, I got a part time job, which I love! I work with amazing people, and we now have extra money to do things as a family whenever we want! And the best thing about it is we don't need a babysitter becasue my husband works during the day and I work evenings! So, it all woeked out!
Well it's defintely HARDER to be a SAHM that's for sure. I guess I have a great job because I get the summers off so I don't feel that HUGE working mom guilt because I know I'll get three solid months during the best time of year. But I still struggle with having to work. I do find that in some ways working makes me a better mom. I get so much ME time that when I get home I am 100% theirs. When I'm at home I find I get distracted with housework, errands and trying to find time to relax I don't give them 100% of mommy. Being a SAHM isn't for everyone and neither is working. I unfortunetly HAVE to work so I don't have to make that decision. I will just enjoy my summers as much as I can!
I really enjoyed being home with my daughter. I worked too, (after 7 months of being home) but it was evenings so h stayed home with our daughter. I found that I was too tired from doing both, so after working for two months I quit. My days were too full: 1) I woke up at 6 with our daughter to feed her. then she would sleep. 2) Helped get the older two ready for school, 3) Went back to bed, and slept for 30 minutes, then the baby would get up for the day. 4) I was with her all day, so I was tired, but I loved being with her, so we had fun. 5) h would come home at 4:30, so we made supper together 6) I had to be to work for 5:30 or 6:00 7) got off at 12:00, but bc we had a crappy old car, I never made it home until 12:45 8) I would grab a shower and try to settle from work. 9) go to bed by 1:30 10) baby would wake up at 3 to feed. then I had to start all over the next day. The stress of it was overwhelming, so h said it was better for me to stay home. I completely agreed. Staying home without working was best for me and my family, though financially was more difficult. It was worth losing the money in order to reduce the stress. I never regretted leaving work, not for a second. Each family is different, I would never judge somebody for doing what they felt was right for them.
I get the best of both worlds. I work a job that although it is labor intensive for a couple of days, I have the luxury of getting the bulk of my hours in over 2 days and when they are sleeping and then I have a good stretch off before going back. So I get the benefit of a full time pay cheque plus I still get to spend 6 of 9 days with my kids.
There are pros and cons to both staying home and working. If you stay at home, you don't get to miss a single thing in your child's life, but you might be limited in what you can provide them with as far as extracurricular activities and socialization may go. If only one person is working in the household, you may not be able to afford to put your child(ren) in sports or dance or whatever or you may not be able to afford a car or bus to get them places.
Working moms tend to miss out on a lot of the little things and it can feel like someone else is raising your child. But, you also get the income of your job which might allow for a lot of nice extras and your child can be enrolled in extracurricular activities more freely and have a chance to socialize more with children at a babysitter's or at daycare.
No matter which way you look at it, it's a tough juggle. You have to find what's going to work best for your family and make the most of the time you have with you children. Just because you work, doesn't mean that your children aren't going to be nurtured and just because you stay home it doesn't mean they have to miss out on a lot of things either. There's a good balance out there for everyone.
I am a SAHM of 2 and I love having the time with the kids everyday but it is so hard some days I think im going crazy but it is the best for the kids for me to stay home and I no im lucky to be able to. The things I really dont like are I never get the car to go anywhere during the day so I have no friends, I have to ask my husband for money if I want something and I always feel guilty if it is something for me, and I never get a break because I dont have anyone that is willing to give me one including my husband when he is off work he is either out with his friends or sleeping. I wish I could get a part time job just to keep my sanity but then I would have to hire a babysitter and find a way to and from work so its just easier to stay at home.
I've been interested in reading all your comments. Right now I am on maternity leave with my 7 mth old. I will be returning to work in the fall after he turns one. Right now, I can honestly say I am NOT looking forward to it. I LOVE my job, and always have, but I am so torn about having to leave him. Luckily we have a family member who will be keeping him at her home, so that softens the blow a bit...BUT...I am still feeling guilty already about going back to work and missing time with him. I need to work for the pay, so staying home is not really an option. I keep praying I'll win the lottery (don't we all!!). I just wish there was some alternative out there...maybe more companies should encourage job-sharing or something of the like so that moms could still spend part time doing the job they love, and part time raising their kids? If I were to have another baby, this is something I would definitely investigate with my company.
In the meantime, I try not to think too much about the fall, and enjoy the upcoming summer with my little guy.
I am a stay at home Mom of 2 boys...I love being a stay at home Mom...but I get the best of 2 worlds because I also provide in home child care. I have been providing child care for about 6 years now and it is fantastic. I really and truly think that Mom's should try their best to stay home with their children for at least the first 5 years,but I 100% that for some it is just not financially able to be done...which is why I provide child care. I work full time 7:30-5:30, but I am able to be there to see my older son off to school, and be home when he gets off the bus, I am able to go to all of his concerts, plays and games at his school. And when my younger son is ready for school, I will still be a SAHM and I will still be able to provide him those same things. So in my family we also need to have 2 incomes, but I am able to be a SAHM at the same time...the best of both worlds if you ask me.
8 comments:
I am a SAHM of two.
I can't imagine leaving them all day every day with someone else. I can't even fathom the things I would miss considering all the cute things they do in the run of a day.
While it is trying on your mind, it is worth it in my opinion. The first 5 years are so important to a child that I think they should be nurtured and made the most of with a parent.
I am not trying to slam working moms. BUT if you CAN stay at home with your kids I FOR SURE think it's the right thing to do for everyone involved.
No one will love your kids like you do.
I was a SAHM for 3 years. I loved every minute of it, but money was always tight and we could never do anything we wanted to. Although I love staying home with my kids, I decided that it was time to get out of the house on my own for once. So, I got a part time job, which I love! I work with amazing people, and we now have extra money to do things as a family whenever we want! And the best thing about it is we don't need a babysitter becasue my husband works during the day and I work evenings! So, it all woeked out!
Well it's defintely HARDER to be a SAHM that's for sure. I guess I have a great job because I get the summers off so I don't feel that HUGE working mom guilt because I know I'll get three solid months during the best time of year. But I still struggle with having to work.
I do find that in some ways working makes me a better mom. I get so much ME time that when I get home I am 100% theirs. When I'm at home I find I get distracted with housework, errands and trying to find time to relax I don't give them 100% of mommy.
Being a SAHM isn't for everyone and neither is working. I unfortunetly HAVE to work so I don't have to make that decision. I will just enjoy my summers as much as I can!
I really enjoyed being home with my daughter. I worked too, (after 7 months of being home) but it was evenings so h stayed home with our daughter. I found that I was too tired from doing both, so after working for two months I quit.
My days were too full:
1) I woke up at 6 with our daughter to feed her. then she would sleep.
2) Helped get the older two ready for school,
3) Went back to bed, and slept for 30 minutes, then the baby would get up for the day.
4) I was with her all day, so I was tired, but I loved being with her, so we had fun.
5) h would come home at 4:30, so we made supper together
6) I had to be to work for 5:30 or 6:00
7) got off at 12:00, but bc we had a crappy old car, I never made it home until 12:45
8) I would grab a shower and try to settle from work.
9) go to bed by 1:30
10) baby would wake up at 3 to feed.
then I had to start all over the next day.
The stress of it was overwhelming, so h said it was better for me to stay home. I completely agreed. Staying home without working was best for me and my family, though financially was more difficult. It was worth losing the money in order to reduce the stress. I never regretted leaving work, not for a second.
Each family is different, I would never judge somebody for doing what they felt was right for them.
I get the best of both worlds. I work a job that although it is labor intensive for a couple of days, I have the luxury of getting the bulk of my hours in over 2 days and when they are sleeping and then I have a good stretch off before going back. So I get the benefit of a full time pay cheque plus I still get to spend 6 of 9 days with my kids.
There are pros and cons to both staying home and working. If you stay at home, you don't get to miss a single thing in your child's life, but you might be limited in what you can provide them with as far as extracurricular activities and socialization may go. If only one person is working in the household, you may not be able to afford to put your child(ren) in sports or dance or whatever or you may not be able to afford a car or bus to get them places.
Working moms tend to miss out on a lot of the little things and it can feel like someone else is raising your child. But, you also get the income of your job which might allow for a lot of nice extras and your child can be enrolled in extracurricular activities more freely and have a chance to socialize more with children at a babysitter's or at daycare.
No matter which way you look at it, it's a tough juggle. You have to find what's going to work best for your family and make the most of the time you have with you children. Just because you work, doesn't mean that your children aren't going to be nurtured and just because you stay home it doesn't mean they have to miss out on a lot of things either. There's a good balance out there for everyone.
I am a SAHM of 2 and I love having the time with the kids everyday but it is so hard some days I think im going crazy but it is the best for the kids for me to stay home and I no im lucky to be able to. The things I really dont like are I never get the car to go anywhere during the day so I have no friends, I have to ask my husband for money if I want something and I always feel guilty if it is something for me, and I never get a break because I dont have anyone that is willing to give me one including my husband when he is off work he is either out with his friends or sleeping. I wish I could get a part time job just to keep my sanity but then I would have to hire a babysitter and find a way to and from work so its just easier to stay at home.
I've been interested in reading all your comments. Right now I am on maternity leave with my 7 mth old. I will be returning to work in the fall after he turns one. Right now, I can honestly say I am NOT looking forward to it. I LOVE my job, and always have, but I am so torn about having to leave him. Luckily we have a family member who will be keeping him at her home, so that softens the blow a bit...BUT...I am still feeling guilty already about going back to work and missing time with him. I need to work for the pay, so staying home is not really an option. I keep praying I'll win the lottery (don't we all!!). I just wish there was some alternative out there...maybe more companies should encourage job-sharing or something of the like so that moms could still spend part time doing the job they love, and part time raising their kids? If I were to have another baby, this is something I would definitely investigate with my company.
In the meantime, I try not to think too much about the fall, and enjoy the upcoming summer with my little guy.
I am a stay at home Mom of 2 boys...I love being a stay at home Mom...but I get the best of 2 worlds because I also provide in home child care. I have been providing child care for about 6 years now and it is fantastic. I really and truly think that Mom's should try their best to stay home with their children for at least the first 5 years,but I 100% that for some it is just not financially able to be done...which is why I provide child care. I work full time 7:30-5:30, but I am able to be there to see my older son off to school, and be home when he gets off the bus, I am able to go to all of his concerts, plays and games at his school. And when my younger son is ready for school, I will still be a SAHM and I will still be able to provide him those same things. So in my family we also need to have 2 incomes, but I am able to be a SAHM at the same time...the best of both worlds if you ask me.
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